Sorry i haven't written...

...we've been in the garden.

Halloween 2009

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Make a Smilebox postcard

An Artist is Born

Colin has had a recent breakthrough with his communication skills.
You may remember many months ago he was well on his way to talking - learning new words and saying them frequently - as well as babbling in his very own dialectic form of Toddlerese.
Then it virtually stopped .

He decided to use a handful of words and sound effects (his preferred choice ) to get across his meaning- and that's it . He refused to use the words i know he already learned - lovely little words like 'flower' and 'squirrel' and 'owl' . Instead when prompted - either while reading together or seeing something on the Telly or in the great outdoors - he would give a resounding " NOOOO" with a sly smile and an utter look of defiance in his brow.

It was as if he was afraid to make a mistake. If he couldn't say it perfectly ( to his own satisfaction - we would always clap no matter how close he got ) he wouldn't even bother trying to say a word. Oh , no ! Was this an early sign of perfectionism ?
It does run in the family ...


Sigh . This was frustrating but i took it as a sign of typical Toddler independence and since he understood nearly all we said to him ( and each other , it seems ) i backed off.

Since mothers are doomed to compare their offspring to others ( yes, even when you KNOW better ) i would think to myself , " well , he's ahead of so & so who is still basically grunting and he is behind you know who who knows all of the names for construction and transportation vehicles . So what ? He makes himself understood and is smart as a whip . He knows how to unlock doors and get himself a snack - what else does he need right now ? So we waited.
and waited. "Nooooooo. " ; )

Well , Mama seems to have offered the proper incentive. He has been enjoying drawing lately so i went out and got him the 64 piece set of Crayola's with the pencil sharpener ( yes he has figured out how to use the sharpener already, see? NOT dumb .)
So i decided to try something.

Me : " Look Collie , NEW crayons , do you like them ."
Him : "Umm Hmm" ( emphatically a Yes)
Me: Ok , Can you say CRAYONS and Mama will give them to you.
Him : NOOOOOOOOO. ; )
Me : Just say Cray- ons . Cray - ons , see ? Just like this - Cray - ons.
Him : CWAAAAYYY - OOONNNSSS.
Me : YES !!!!
He got his crayons and went to town.

So there you have it . A new word.
And many more have followed .
He has been saying new words in rapid -fire succession ever since.

So , who says you shouldn't bribe your kids ?

Summertime

Well , i am out of mourning and have moved on to the new freedom weaning has given me and my son. We are keeping busy with all kinds of fun summer activities and since i haven't posted in awhile i will share some new photos here.

i hope all of you are enjoying the sun's rays and these hazy, lazy, crazy days of summer with your friends and families...

Of Cabbages and Kings

"The time has come," the Walrus said,

"to speak of many things.
Of shoes -- and ships -- and sealing wax --
of cabbages and kings."

-Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass

Today is the day my son and i have changed in an irrevocable way.
We are no longer nursing.

This week i have begun the long-awaited , yet not-quite-ready for process ( for both of us )
of weaning off of the breast.
Sigh.
This fills me with so many conflicting , yet necessary and i imagine quite un-extraordinary feelings . I am sure all breastfeeding mothers go through a similar contradiction of emotions - feeling on the precipice of a new freedom , a return to the concept of "my body" , the joy of watching your baby grow and develop beyond complete and total dependence into a little person all of his own . A King of a land yet to be conquered , one of his own imagination and the wide world beyond the safety and comfort of your warm breast.
Yet you have nourished him , comforted him , eased his pain and healed his ills , all the while keeping him warm and close- as close as possible without actually being in your womb , where his tiny and tenuous life began. It felt right. It felt good and it comforted you , too.
Now it is all changing and although it is time and it is going sweetly and not painlessly , it is going. Forever.
There is a bittersweet sadness that fills its place and the tears well up in my eyes as i feel the milk leave my body , never to return . I hold my son and cradle him as he whimpers and sighs - resigned that "Mama's milk is all gone" .
My love grows exponentially to fill the gap- but does he feel it ? Will he remember this day in his bones ? I will . I know it is the 'right' thing and the right time , as we have tried before , several times with very little success and this time Colin told me it was time. He showed me signs and i started to offer other comforts in place of nursing. He accepted , a bit begrudgingly but accepted nonetheless and we eased into it , together. He cried , i cried and then we found each other again , in a new way. He is sleeping as i write this - the third time without a "nite-nite " nursing and he is breathing easily and heavily in slumber . My heart still feels heavy.
It isn't as easy as i wanted it to be.
I have cabbage leaves in my bra ( an old folk remedy that sounds and feels ridiculous , yet works) to stop engorgement and soothe the pain. I cut fresh sage and mint from my herb garden for tea to help dry up the milk and i am feasting on cabbage , sorrel and parsley soup to aid in the process as well .
I have done everything i can do now i must let time heal the rest and let go , just a little .
Sleep well , my petit chou prince. I still love you so.