Focus...

Bug is changing by leaps and bounds - watching his motor/emotional development is like watching a rosebud open , petal by petal - the small incremental changes imperceptible to the naked eye but change the focus to time-lapse and it becomes swift and irrevocable. Like time itself. I try to focus on every detail , but this , of course is impossible. His focus is laser sharp and ever-changing - on everything and anything that catches his eye. He is like a heat-seeking missile of energy , absorbing and lighting up everything in his path. His gaze has become more focused and intentional. He can hold your eyes with his for a long and meaningful moment now , allowing you to see, however briefly that he is in charge of his own ship now . And he is focused on the high sea.

inspired by Mama Says Om

Memorial Day at the River

We spent Memorial Day in West Virginia on a 20 acre riverfront property newly purchased by my husband's sister and her husband. They plan on building a 'home away from home' on the land and sharing it with the family.

It is a diamond in the rough right now but one with endless brilliant possibilities. We all had a grand time frolicking in the woods and water like wide-eyed children discovering the wonders of nature again. Colin really reveled in the experience and i think he is going to love exploring there as he grows through the years. It is only an hour and 1/2 from the D.C. area but feels a world away.

It is a magical spot.

Love is in Bloom...

Love is in bloom in our house.
Zoe is unquestionably 100% in love with Colin.
Just look at the two of them together. I think the feeling is mutual.

My step-daughter had a hard time initially with the idea of having a new
brother. SHe already had her older brother Duke and was always thought of as the 'baby' . On the cusp of womanhood , she is struggling like all adolescent girls her age with what it means to grow up. She is having a hard time -
with body issues, social pressures and any change that adds more to the already overwhelming list of what makes being a teenage girl so tough.

We were wondering if she would reject Colin as she was less than thrilled to hear the news about his imminent arrival. Well , everyday she warmed up to the idea as she got to hold him and interact with him. It really started to take hold though as he grew more and more curious - about HER. He would reach out and touch her , laugh and try to make her laugh. They are really becoming fast friends. There is a lot of nuzzling and kissing going on now.

Now Zoe tells her Dad , " I can't wait to see Bug !" and she really means it.
You can see it in her face when she looks at him. Her smile is full of rose petals. We recently got her this funky new bedding full of flowers for her room at our house and she and the baby spent all day playing together in their new 'garden'.

Our backyard is a blank canvas that i have just begun to paint. I recently added 40 roses, wisteria, lilacs and various other flowering shrubs to it before i go on to plant countless perennials and my long-awaited kitchen garden.

So in the meantime , i am willingly looking in other places for my blooms these days. I didn't have to go too far to find what i was looking for this time ...


inspired by mama Says Om

Haiku Mama

Chasing butterflies
small arms reaching to the sky
learning how to walk


one bigger brother
teaching the little boy blue
to press our buttons


Mother's day tulip
you give so much already
my heart blooming full


small boy, smaller dog
erupting into laughter
turning into tears


Oh , boy is THIS fun !
It's a good thing i have laundry or i wouldn't stop...

My Child...

turns toward the sun

rolls his body languidly in the family bed

reaches his peachy arms to touch the sky

bends his slipper shell ear to listen

points his elfin toes in anticipation

tries to walk in his Daddie's shoes

crawls with purpose after the dog on all fours

stuffs his peony bud mouth full of golden eggs , then grins

laughs as if there is no tomorrow

my child

a tiny buddha

full of joy


for mama says om

Happiness

Happiness is being loved, on vacation, naked on the porch , without a care in the world...

Summer is here !


for mama says OM

Taking the Silence to the Sea

I am leaving today with my husband and son to travel to South Carolina to spend a week at the shore. Never has there been a better time to let the warmth of the sun and the sea air wash over us. We are battling early Spring colds, the last of the winter blues and heavy hearts in light of recent events. We NEED this break. We were lucky enough to have friends invite us to stay with them at their vacation house rental. Perfect timing.

I am hoping that i can return refreshed and renewed- ready for a new season and a summer full of love.


I will post pictures from the Cherry Blossom festival when i get back.

See you next Sunday.
Be well.

Silence

There is a silence in my heart today.

By now , you all have probably heard about the tragedy that took place in Virginia yesterday. This took place mere miles from the quiet , safe , insulated suburban community of Arlington, where we live. But this could have happened to my step-son who thankfully, in this instance, chose to go to a different college far from home.

Tragically , it did happen to someone's child , to many other children . There are countless grieving parents in our neighboring town today.
It is in that respect that this great loss has happened to each and every one of us . This has happened to every parent who places faith into the idea that our children will be kept safe in this world. Somehow, some way.

Something went terribly, terribly wrong yesterday in Blacksburg and instead innocent children lost their lives in a senseless , random act of violence. So we grieve instead of smiling today when we think of our children.

It has been anything but silent here as the news media, authorities and parents of the slain college students scramble for answers. It has turned into a Guinness Book of World Record's media frenzy " the most slain ever in the United States ! " circus of horrors. Everyone is blaming everyone else and little , if anything is shedding any light onto the question on every one's lips today "WHY ?" .

We will probably never know all of the reasons why this happened, that answer was in the mind of the young man who committed this desperate and devastating act. He is dead now, along with his victims . His voice, their voices silenced forever by the barrel of an automatic weapon.

So , I am quiet today inside, too. In their memory.
I sit here in silence trying to remember.
Trying to forget.

I ask anyone who reads this to share in a moment of silence and to pray for the families who lost someone that they loved yesterday . Go hug your kids and show them something beautiful today . Sit in silence together and count your blessings . Remember that everyday is a gift. Today , more than ever, it seems.

Peace

Is there anything more peaceful than a sleeping child's face ?




for Mama Says Om

The Bunny Trail

We have now made it through two major Springtime events - Colin's first birthday and his 'first' official Easter .

We had a wonderful day with friends and family - it was small and intimate - the exact opposite of his raucous birthday bash. My step-daughter came over early to help prepare dinner ( see my sister food blog Sunday Dinner for a great step-by-step iilustrated (and easy) rack of lamb recipe ) and my fellow ex-pat
friend from up North , Ken joined us.

We ate heartily and enjoyed watching Colin explore the contents of his first Easter basket. His basket had TWO stuffed bunnies - one hand knit by my 99 year old grandmother and the other a gift from Mama. This is probably due in no small part that i remember getting a new stuffed bunny every Easter from my mother and i wanted to recreate that happy memory for my little guy.
He also had a fuzzy chick in an Easter cup given to him by his Uncle Paul and a stuffed 'peep' from CVS , along with a dozen hollow plastic eggs and a handheld twirly star . Oh , and a Spongebob beach pail.
After playing with each item for the two minutes required by proper toddler etiquette
Colin, with great ceremony, dropped each item one by one onto the floor . By the end of the meal it looked like a hand grenade had been surreptitiously mixed in with the plastic eggs. The handle was broken off of the cup , each egg was missing it's other half and the stuffed friends were arrayed on the floor looking in need of C.S.I. chalk lines.
Quel' mess !!!

Our little bunny had a grand time and that is all that really counts. What's a little mess ( ok , a BIG mess ) in the face of such unabashed joy ?

I can't remember when i had so much fun on Easter. Children really do revive old traditions and bring meaning back to the holidays. Maybe someday i will even take him to Church , that is if the roof doesn't cave in on my head when i walk in the door !
Then again , maybe i will just bring him outdoors to smell the tulips and explain that God is everywhere...

The Life of the Party

My little boy turned One yesterday.
Sigh.
My intsy weentsy spider is now a Toddler -
he is toddling , soon to be on his own two little feet !
My baby bug is not such a baby anymore.
He is ONE YEAR OLD.
Wow, did that go by fast or what ?

His party on Saturday was a smashing success - although we missed all of you from back 'home'. Your absence was keenly felt and we wished you could have been there. Thank to all of you who sent gifts & cards . It was a special day.

Mr. Buggles was so on board through the entire party from start to finish- it was amazing to me. I went in to this thinking it was more about us celebrating the success of our first year with baby - that he would barely be aware that the party was for HIM. Wrong ! He knew completely and utterly that he was being celebrated!

He laughed and played with all of the guests as he was being passed around like a party favor.
He tasted all the h'ors deuvres , drank punch, ate cake and clapped while opening his presents. He even kept his party hat on !
He really had a good time - that was evident by the ear to ear grin he wore all day.

I am so happy that we decided to throw a big party afterall , like i said before -
you only turn One once !

(For more birthday pics click on the Flickr banner on the sidebar to your right >
They are in a set called ' 1st Birthday' )

Invitation

Tomorrow is my son's birthday party for his first year on Earth with us. His actual birthday is March 29th but his big brother is home from college this weekend and we wanted him to be able to celebrate with us.

It started off as a small thing with me baking a small birthday cake and having Duke & Zoe , my husband and his mother at home. It has grown into a 35+ shindig and now i am making a BIG cake & cupcakes & canapes , etc. to please a growing crowd.
Oh , well .
The more the Merrier-
you only turn One once !

Bathed in Light

This photo was taken when my son was 6 months old and it was easier for me to bathe him in the bathroom sink - he was growing fast but he still liked it even though he was practically spilling out the sides by then. I think it reminded him of being in the womb , all snug as a bug.

I remember the sunlight was streaming in through the skylight that day. It bathed his sweet skin in this ethereal golden velvet coat and i felt compelled to grab my husband and make him take this photograph then and there.

It has become one of our favorite photographs of him ( and we have amassed THOUSANDS, already !! ) It reminds me of one of those artistic Kohler sink ads.

He is the light of our lives and this photograph symbolizes how soft and gentle that light still feels to us. It is a light that comforts .
It is a light that washes us clean like children again.

inspired by Mama Says Om

Oh, How We Grow !

Colin , in the past week or so has grown exponentially.

He has learned to say 'Mama' ( yay!), crawl ' properly' , pull himself to a stand ,sit down, cruise along furniture, sing, clap his hands , feed himself and soothe himself to sleep by humming , and hold a book and turn the pages on his own.

My big boy !!!

It is so much fun to watch him grow and see him truly interact with us and others now. He turns one year old on March 29th and it is amazing how fast this first year went. Everyone tells you how fast the time flies with children but you just have no idea until you look at the calendar and marvel at the rapidity of time's passage.

Wow.
It is all i can say .

For now , anyway.
; )

Joy

Joy is remembering that 11 months , 1 week and 3 days ago I gave birth to this amazingly joyful little creature.

How is it that God can fit so much loving kindness inside a tiny pint-sized heart ? That secret is the answer to World Peace , i just know it.
If we all could remember what it feels like to be so joyful in our skin we could appreciate how precious this LIFE really is.

One year at a time, one month at a time, one week at a time, one day at a time, one hour at a time , one minute at a time, one breath at a time.

Just Joy , Joy , Joy .

Nothing but Joy.


inspired by Mama Says OM

For a much longer ( and perhaps tedious! ) treatise on JOY , please see my previous post " I have a Mind to be Joyful "

Ever-changing , Never Static

I wasn't going to post for Mama Says Om this week because "Static" , the theme for this week , threw me. Immersed in laundry , baskets and bushels full , all i could think of were the necessity of those handy anti-cling dryer sheets at this time of year.
But static , clung. As it were.

All i have to do is look at my beautiful , growing, baby boy and i realize NOTHING ever stays the same. Change is inevitable, like it or not. It moves us ,moves with us or moves through us but it moves just the same.

We totter along through life at a snails pace or zip through it like a March hare and all along change takes place before our eyes like a fine moss growing on a stonewall, filling in the cracks and crevices that we and the ravages of time leave behind.

My boy's smile is now sprinkled with snowflake teeth , his hair downy swirls where the tender pink of his softspot once showed through. He pulls his little body into a stand , crawls on all fours like a small fragrant animal and gives a kiss when asked.

These things are all new and keep morphing into newer and different things with each passing day. He is changing all of the time now.
And i am , too.

I am learning to count each day as precious and unique and never to come again. I am able to look forward to each new day as a day in which i will receive yet another fleeting gift of something new. The new soon to be old but with the promise of more to come.

To be static is to cease to grow , to stagnate , to forget that we have but one chance to make it all count on this good green Earth.
It is too easy to forget that we are all moving forward in time , one baby step at a time .
Change is always the field ahead of us.

We have to remember to make room for this change , to water our plants and to remember how beautiful it is to watch them grow.

I guess that is why the camera was invented. To capture this passage of time and remind us how lovely it all was and is.

It Still Snows in Virginia

Here's the evidence...

The Further Adventures of Baby & Chihuahua

i couldn't resist....

A Belated Valentine

I know , i know , it is four days past Valentine's Day but i am a hopeless romantic and since i have had a miserable sinus condition on THE day ( as well as my birthday which was and is , unfortunately always the day after - i didn't get to celebrate. Not really.
We also got clobbered with one hell of an ice storm this week and have been 'iced' in and unable to leave the house.
The one fun thing i did do was to bake a Red Velvet Cake with N. , my friend from home (she baked hers there and i baked my version here , both of which will be featured in Sunday Dinner this week ). Baking is always a good answer to the bad weather / under the weather blues . At least for me !

I dressed my little cherub all in red for the holiday gave him a classic Winnie the Pooh for his valentine . He already has Tigger. Now he needs Piglet , Eeyore , Kanga, Roo & Christopher Robin. I have started reading the Pooh series to him and he seems to really enjoy it , listening intently , giggling and helping to turn the pages.
I still love Winnie the Pooh and Beatrix Potter and Wind in the Willows. I must have some Brit in me because i love English humor, as well. I hope Mr. Buggles enjoys them as much as i did growing up.

Well , it is snowing again. Just a squall but enough to make it feel like the dead of winter, which i guess it is. I was halfway to Spring in my mind so it makes it hard to get excited about this blustery weather. I am making soup for dinner and going to bed early. The only thing to do in this weather is hibernate.

Bug is fast asleep ( not in his crib) with Winnie ,Tigger & Lula and i am not far behind.......

Crib Notes

Wee DeeDee now has a crib !


He has yet to sleep in it but he seems to like it alright when he is awake.
Of course , he is ALREADY standing up in it and trying to 'go over the wall' but that's beside the point. He has been showing signs of independent sleeping for awhile now ( of course this means he will rollover in the bed and sleep , by himself for about an hour and then he wakes up wailing) but he used to have to be physically attached to me in order to sleep so it is a big stride for ( both ) of us.
We are waiting for his new mattress to arrive before actually attempting to make him sleep in his new crib ( it is actually borrowed from friends )which sort of resembles a sleigh bed -cum- Gallic prison. It is a bit dark and heavy for my taste but it sort of matches the antique rocker we have in his room .
Anyway , the mattress.

The one that came with the crib is like a slab of concrete. I get the whole safety SIDS prevention thing but , c'mon ! This thing is - no lie- like sleeping on a cellar floor- no give and no comfort that's for sure. There is NO WAY Colin will EVER fall asleep on that box o' rocks.
He is , after all , used to swaying gently like the breeze in his ultra-cushy papasan swing OR drifting off to Neverland in our uber-comfortable Tempur-pedic bed with a warm parent on either side.
The kid knows from comfort.

So , i did my usual Googling until i found a SAFE version of a Tempur-pedic type bed for infants/toddlers . Target has a decent one but i found the Rolls Royce at BabyAge. It has two sides, one for babies and one for toddlers and so , fits the bill nicely. More importantly , it feels like something I could sleep on. The antithesis of 'slab'.

So , all we have to do is wait . In a few weeks we get to stay up all night trying to get him to sleep in his baby monkey cage. Until then , i will savor the time i have left to both sleep and cuddle my baby.

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Don't forget to check out what's cooking this week at Sunday Dinner...
http://sundaydinnerathysterialane.blogspot.com/2007/02/more-comfort-food-for-cold-weather-pot.html