Laugh for the Day

This video was sent to me by my niece Kate who is away at her first semester at NorthEastern University in Boston . She was our primary babysitter this past year and we miss her dearly.
Is it any wonder why ?
How cute is this ?

Our Buggles & Lula

Purify

I found this beauty - swallowtail or Monarch caterpillar?
I am embarrassed to admit i cannot tell the difference ( my days as Naturalist Extraordinaire are numbered ) when i went to cut herbs for soup yesterday.

This week's theme at Mama Says Om is Purify and it is a good time of year to think about purification. Especially if you have a house like mine that is hosting the flu this week. ( Knock on Wood) i have yet to succumb but my husband has it and my little boy had a runny nose today so i am holding my breath hoping it doesn't follow the usual chain of command. All this has inspired me to scour my herb garden and come up with a bombastic blend of culinary and apothecary goodness to do battle with the Germ army marching it's way though my door. I made two soups in as many days - one good ol' fashioned chicken soup and an Asian seafood soup armed to the gills with shitake and maitake mushrooms, Siam Queen Basil and Lemongrass from my herb patch.

Both were delicious and gobbled up with gusto by my sickies. Now i just need to say a little prayer and do a rain dance ( mostly so i won't have to water my roses ) and all the bad energy should float away and i will be left with a happy, healthy and harmonious home , right ?

At least that's the idea behind my purification ceremony.

Monkey in the Middle

" I would not creep along the coast but steer
Out in mid-sea, by guidance of the stars..."
-George Eliot - Middlemarch

It seems I have been 'tagged' by AscenderRisesAbove for a Meme ( i always thought that a Meme was a grandmother - shows how 'square' i really am )
Square peg in a round hole , more like.
Anyway , i digress...

I guess this particular meme is a middle name game where one applies a fact to each letter of their middle name that would reveal something about themselves and then at the end tag a person per letter to do the same . So here i go . Sort of.
Seems simple enough as i only have three letters in my middle name .
Ann. yup , just Ann - pretty boring , huh ?
I always thought i should have had an interesting or exotic middle name like Evangeline or Melusina or something.
Well, i will just to have to work with what i have...

A is for Aspiration

"The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened. It's only the middle-aged who are really conscious of their limitations--that is why one should be so patient with them." Saki- Reginald

A spirations... as a mother i now have more aspirations than ever , heaven help me. Not only do i want to finish my novel someday, have a proper showing of my photographs , really learn French this time, play the piano , become a yoga instructor , make a smaller ecological footprint ( both literally and figuratively ) and have regular dinner parties with anything but regular guests- NOW (post-child) i aspire( and feel a great need ) to do something to help foster world peace , to get my spiritual act together so i don't end up confusing my son , get in great physical and mental shape , start a children's library , learn about trains , set a good example in speech and manners , show some minuscule interest in Sports ( does Tai Chi count ?) , get CPR certified, get organized , the list goes on and on.
The single hardest thing i have been trying to do is JUST BE , which believe it or not , i actually succeed at most of the time.
This is why i suck at regularly updating my Blogs .
Please forgive me.
I guess I am like that little plant always leaning toward the sun , trying to grow against all odds. But i guess that is the point of an aspiration , right ?
More simply put ;
A for always trying.

N is for NO

"I am sure that if the mothers of various nations could meet,
there would be no more wars."- E.M. Forster - Howard's End


No more War. I would like to watch my child grow up in a peaceful world.
I want to live there, too.

N is also for Negativity - life is full of irony

"People deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong.
Why not try and see positive things, to just touch those things and make them bloom? " -Thich Nhat Hanh

Nix on Negativity. I would hereby like to banish all negative thoughts, deeds and words from the lexicon of my life.
At least for 15 minutes per day....


oooh , that was kind of negative wasn't it ?
; )

And last but not least , here are my tags.
Learn something new from someone you don't know
( isn't that the whole point of Blogs anyway ?)

A dAncelikenooneiswatching

N fraNgiblepie

N thepiNkyshow

Just a little... R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Respect is the theme this week at Mama Says Om and the word has SO many possibilities when applied to parenting , doesn't it ?

It can mean learning a healthy self-respect which leads to confidence and self-esteem later in life. It can mean honoring one's parents and elders for the knowledge they bestow to their children and young ones. It can mean treating others the way that you want to be treated .
It can stand for the deference we show to those in authority ( that is if they live up to the job - unlike our current Presidental administration , i am NOT afraid to say ) On a more Zen note -it can also mean caring for the world we share with other living beings.
This is where i choose to pay homage this week.

My son is seventeen months old and has always seemed to be especially aware of the natural world, but lately he seems to have discovered it on another level. He gently cocks his little head to hear the cicadas whirr in the trees, he points to far-off black specks in the sky which i can barely make out to be birds , he softly caresses the stems and petals of flowers and plants on our walks.

He learned the sign for stars before he could say it and now excitedly makes the sign and says "star" with such enthusiasm i am afraid he won't be able to sleep.
He feeds our chihuahua Nooni by hand with such tenderness it almost brings tears to my eyes .( ok - it does) His new favorite 'friend' is his stuffed Panda Xiao Ling ,from our recent trip to the National Zoo . He didn't try to chase the colorful and exotic chickens at the roadside animal park like the other small children - he only squealed in delight and threw some food for them at his feet. He oohh-ed and ahhh-ed and proclaimed "wow" all day at the National Aquarium when we visited one rainy Sunday afternoon.

It is then that i realized my little son has a healthy, innate respect for Nature -even before i got a chance to 'teach' it to him.
He somehow knew to respect the world into which he was born . Maybe all children are born with this absolute pure and joyful recognition of how special our planet and our place in it is ? I don't know but i so look forward to fostering his love for Nature with every new day that opens before us.

I think he can teach me a thing or two , too.

The end of summer always brings with it a sense of melancholy but this year i find myself welcoming the end of the blistering heat and all of the domestic strife my family has been suffering these past few months. As the heat fades and the tide comes in , it seems that life is settling into a more comfortable place lately.

My step-daughter continues to heal and my son continues to grow. Colin just turned 17 months and is FINALLY a true toddler - walking AND talking his way through his little life like a miniature Frankenstein . He even has the growl down- rrrrowwrrr ( this he learned while reading Animalia by Graeme Base . You know , "lazy lions lounging in the library" ? He is busy destroying our house, the village is next.

He loved the beach this year . No more fear of the ocean - just a good , healthy respect. He ran right toward the waves holding our hands like a baby sea turtle trying to return from whence he came.

My favorite moments are of him playing in the surf while the gentle tide formed pools at the edge- just the right size for Bug to explore and wade in safely on his own. He played unencumbered by any sense of time and watching him was like a meditation for me.
It was something my battered heart needed badly.

My husband calls him our 'little band-aid ' because he has such a comforting and healing effect on us . Life can be so difficult at times but these sweet little babies keep us afloat , don't they ? Yes, they are exhausting and SO much work but it is a trade-off for moments like this . Just look at him , so at peace , so happy in the world. In his own skin.

If only we could go there more often , too.

Baby Steps

for mama says om


Well , days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months . With time comes change and with change comes the decision to 'go with the flow' .

We have decided to preserve our annual family vacation to the beach this year , even with the unpredictability of my Step-daughter's daily struggle to beat her eating disorder.
She has been trying really hard in her program to overcome the pull of this insidious and tenacious disease. It has not been easy for her. Or us.

She will be transitioning into a part-time program this week and with any luck she will be joining us for at least part of our vacation, albeit in a slightly altered form . There will be guidelines( one of which is ZERO exercise) and a structure for meals that never existed before. It will be challenging for all of us but we are all in alignment on this to offer her the support she needs for a successful recovery. Fingers crossed , all will go fairly well and she might even be able to have some much-needed fun.


Exciting news on the baby front ....

Bug decided to take his very first unaided steps yesterday !!! YAY , Colin !!!

He has been physically able for weeks now but would not walk without holding onto a finger while toddling along beside us. He just turned 16 months and we were beginning to wonder if he was ever going to do it . He just needed to make up his mind to do it .He is a brave but cautious little boy .I guess that is a good thing in the grand scheme of things.

He was over his cousin Kate's house when he first tried it ( of course , we missed it !)But later that night, he was playing with his favorite truck and made a pirouette into a stand and VOILA ! One foot in front of the other - steps !!!

We are so proud our kids have turned out to be so brave and persevering.
Toddler & teenager .
It takes those initial baby steps to get started on any new endeavor , but it is
the decision to take those first steps is what propels us forth into a brave new world.

Good work , kids.

Honesty

We are having a hard time.



It has been a long , trying month - emotionally , physically, psychologically , financially and situationally EXHAUSTING.

Bug is teething , again. ( has he ever stopped??) He has been nursing non-stop like a newborn for weeks now. Yeouch!

I am anemic , again- still battling the fibroids that continue to make my life hell. Surgery is in my imminent future- yes , i know ALL of the pros and cons and it makes little difference. I am having a partial hysterectomy in the next year - like it or not. Just thinking about this makes me depressed ( more than i already am , if that's possible.)

The housing market back home where i still have my house is in a major slump and is beginning to show signs of neglect which doesn't help its saleability in the least. The pressure of getting it emptied and spruced up so we can unload it is mounting.

A recent trip home made me sad and i miss my family ( crazy as they are ) and my friends and old stomping grounds something awful . Buggy refused to sleep in my house - he was scared and like a fish out of water when bedtime came. I got what felt like zero sleep. It was a tough trip.

On the last day on our way home after an idyllic day at a friend's house and pool we got word that my step-daughter had been admitted to a re-hab facility for eating disorders over the fourth of July weekend. She is stable but having a difficult time accepting this decision.
From joy to devastation in 0-60 - We are stunned at how fast a mood could be ruined these days.

We have been shuttling back and forth to various therapy and doctor appointments since we got back home and we are more than a little rough around the edges. I just feel like crying all of the time , but frankly , i am too tired to muster the energy needed for a good cry just now.

My husband is having a hard time managing his anxiety around all of it, too - the house , the extra mortgage , the baby , our marriage , my health , my step-daughter's health , work , and all of the financial unknowns that loom overhead like some great cloud of locusts in our once clear- blue sky.

I know it has to get better soon , but when ??

There is my honesty .

I have decided to put it out in the open where it can't hurt me . Feels like a good place for it.

Focus...

Bug is changing by leaps and bounds - watching his motor/emotional development is like watching a rosebud open , petal by petal - the small incremental changes imperceptible to the naked eye but change the focus to time-lapse and it becomes swift and irrevocable. Like time itself. I try to focus on every detail , but this , of course is impossible. His focus is laser sharp and ever-changing - on everything and anything that catches his eye. He is like a heat-seeking missile of energy , absorbing and lighting up everything in his path. His gaze has become more focused and intentional. He can hold your eyes with his for a long and meaningful moment now , allowing you to see, however briefly that he is in charge of his own ship now . And he is focused on the high sea.

inspired by Mama Says Om

Memorial Day at the River

We spent Memorial Day in West Virginia on a 20 acre riverfront property newly purchased by my husband's sister and her husband. They plan on building a 'home away from home' on the land and sharing it with the family.

It is a diamond in the rough right now but one with endless brilliant possibilities. We all had a grand time frolicking in the woods and water like wide-eyed children discovering the wonders of nature again. Colin really reveled in the experience and i think he is going to love exploring there as he grows through the years. It is only an hour and 1/2 from the D.C. area but feels a world away.

It is a magical spot.

Love is in Bloom...

Love is in bloom in our house.
Zoe is unquestionably 100% in love with Colin.
Just look at the two of them together. I think the feeling is mutual.

My step-daughter had a hard time initially with the idea of having a new
brother. SHe already had her older brother Duke and was always thought of as the 'baby' . On the cusp of womanhood , she is struggling like all adolescent girls her age with what it means to grow up. She is having a hard time -
with body issues, social pressures and any change that adds more to the already overwhelming list of what makes being a teenage girl so tough.

We were wondering if she would reject Colin as she was less than thrilled to hear the news about his imminent arrival. Well , everyday she warmed up to the idea as she got to hold him and interact with him. It really started to take hold though as he grew more and more curious - about HER. He would reach out and touch her , laugh and try to make her laugh. They are really becoming fast friends. There is a lot of nuzzling and kissing going on now.

Now Zoe tells her Dad , " I can't wait to see Bug !" and she really means it.
You can see it in her face when she looks at him. Her smile is full of rose petals. We recently got her this funky new bedding full of flowers for her room at our house and she and the baby spent all day playing together in their new 'garden'.

Our backyard is a blank canvas that i have just begun to paint. I recently added 40 roses, wisteria, lilacs and various other flowering shrubs to it before i go on to plant countless perennials and my long-awaited kitchen garden.

So in the meantime , i am willingly looking in other places for my blooms these days. I didn't have to go too far to find what i was looking for this time ...


inspired by mama Says Om

Haiku Mama

Chasing butterflies
small arms reaching to the sky
learning how to walk


one bigger brother
teaching the little boy blue
to press our buttons


Mother's day tulip
you give so much already
my heart blooming full


small boy, smaller dog
erupting into laughter
turning into tears


Oh , boy is THIS fun !
It's a good thing i have laundry or i wouldn't stop...

My Child...

turns toward the sun

rolls his body languidly in the family bed

reaches his peachy arms to touch the sky

bends his slipper shell ear to listen

points his elfin toes in anticipation

tries to walk in his Daddie's shoes

crawls with purpose after the dog on all fours

stuffs his peony bud mouth full of golden eggs , then grins

laughs as if there is no tomorrow

my child

a tiny buddha

full of joy


for mama says om

Happiness

Happiness is being loved, on vacation, naked on the porch , without a care in the world...

Summer is here !


for mama says OM

Taking the Silence to the Sea

I am leaving today with my husband and son to travel to South Carolina to spend a week at the shore. Never has there been a better time to let the warmth of the sun and the sea air wash over us. We are battling early Spring colds, the last of the winter blues and heavy hearts in light of recent events. We NEED this break. We were lucky enough to have friends invite us to stay with them at their vacation house rental. Perfect timing.

I am hoping that i can return refreshed and renewed- ready for a new season and a summer full of love.


I will post pictures from the Cherry Blossom festival when i get back.

See you next Sunday.
Be well.

Silence

There is a silence in my heart today.

By now , you all have probably heard about the tragedy that took place in Virginia yesterday. This took place mere miles from the quiet , safe , insulated suburban community of Arlington, where we live. But this could have happened to my step-son who thankfully, in this instance, chose to go to a different college far from home.

Tragically , it did happen to someone's child , to many other children . There are countless grieving parents in our neighboring town today.
It is in that respect that this great loss has happened to each and every one of us . This has happened to every parent who places faith into the idea that our children will be kept safe in this world. Somehow, some way.

Something went terribly, terribly wrong yesterday in Blacksburg and instead innocent children lost their lives in a senseless , random act of violence. So we grieve instead of smiling today when we think of our children.

It has been anything but silent here as the news media, authorities and parents of the slain college students scramble for answers. It has turned into a Guinness Book of World Record's media frenzy " the most slain ever in the United States ! " circus of horrors. Everyone is blaming everyone else and little , if anything is shedding any light onto the question on every one's lips today "WHY ?" .

We will probably never know all of the reasons why this happened, that answer was in the mind of the young man who committed this desperate and devastating act. He is dead now, along with his victims . His voice, their voices silenced forever by the barrel of an automatic weapon.

So , I am quiet today inside, too. In their memory.
I sit here in silence trying to remember.
Trying to forget.

I ask anyone who reads this to share in a moment of silence and to pray for the families who lost someone that they loved yesterday . Go hug your kids and show them something beautiful today . Sit in silence together and count your blessings . Remember that everyday is a gift. Today , more than ever, it seems.

Peace

Is there anything more peaceful than a sleeping child's face ?




for Mama Says Om

The Bunny Trail

We have now made it through two major Springtime events - Colin's first birthday and his 'first' official Easter .

We had a wonderful day with friends and family - it was small and intimate - the exact opposite of his raucous birthday bash. My step-daughter came over early to help prepare dinner ( see my sister food blog Sunday Dinner for a great step-by-step iilustrated (and easy) rack of lamb recipe ) and my fellow ex-pat
friend from up North , Ken joined us.

We ate heartily and enjoyed watching Colin explore the contents of his first Easter basket. His basket had TWO stuffed bunnies - one hand knit by my 99 year old grandmother and the other a gift from Mama. This is probably due in no small part that i remember getting a new stuffed bunny every Easter from my mother and i wanted to recreate that happy memory for my little guy.
He also had a fuzzy chick in an Easter cup given to him by his Uncle Paul and a stuffed 'peep' from CVS , along with a dozen hollow plastic eggs and a handheld twirly star . Oh , and a Spongebob beach pail.
After playing with each item for the two minutes required by proper toddler etiquette
Colin, with great ceremony, dropped each item one by one onto the floor . By the end of the meal it looked like a hand grenade had been surreptitiously mixed in with the plastic eggs. The handle was broken off of the cup , each egg was missing it's other half and the stuffed friends were arrayed on the floor looking in need of C.S.I. chalk lines.
Quel' mess !!!

Our little bunny had a grand time and that is all that really counts. What's a little mess ( ok , a BIG mess ) in the face of such unabashed joy ?

I can't remember when i had so much fun on Easter. Children really do revive old traditions and bring meaning back to the holidays. Maybe someday i will even take him to Church , that is if the roof doesn't cave in on my head when i walk in the door !
Then again , maybe i will just bring him outdoors to smell the tulips and explain that God is everywhere...

The Life of the Party

My little boy turned One yesterday.
Sigh.
My intsy weentsy spider is now a Toddler -
he is toddling , soon to be on his own two little feet !
My baby bug is not such a baby anymore.
He is ONE YEAR OLD.
Wow, did that go by fast or what ?

His party on Saturday was a smashing success - although we missed all of you from back 'home'. Your absence was keenly felt and we wished you could have been there. Thank to all of you who sent gifts & cards . It was a special day.

Mr. Buggles was so on board through the entire party from start to finish- it was amazing to me. I went in to this thinking it was more about us celebrating the success of our first year with baby - that he would barely be aware that the party was for HIM. Wrong ! He knew completely and utterly that he was being celebrated!

He laughed and played with all of the guests as he was being passed around like a party favor.
He tasted all the h'ors deuvres , drank punch, ate cake and clapped while opening his presents. He even kept his party hat on !
He really had a good time - that was evident by the ear to ear grin he wore all day.

I am so happy that we decided to throw a big party afterall , like i said before -
you only turn One once !

(For more birthday pics click on the Flickr banner on the sidebar to your right >
They are in a set called ' 1st Birthday' )

Invitation

Tomorrow is my son's birthday party for his first year on Earth with us. His actual birthday is March 29th but his big brother is home from college this weekend and we wanted him to be able to celebrate with us.

It started off as a small thing with me baking a small birthday cake and having Duke & Zoe , my husband and his mother at home. It has grown into a 35+ shindig and now i am making a BIG cake & cupcakes & canapes , etc. to please a growing crowd.
Oh , well .
The more the Merrier-
you only turn One once !

Bathed in Light

This photo was taken when my son was 6 months old and it was easier for me to bathe him in the bathroom sink - he was growing fast but he still liked it even though he was practically spilling out the sides by then. I think it reminded him of being in the womb , all snug as a bug.

I remember the sunlight was streaming in through the skylight that day. It bathed his sweet skin in this ethereal golden velvet coat and i felt compelled to grab my husband and make him take this photograph then and there.

It has become one of our favorite photographs of him ( and we have amassed THOUSANDS, already !! ) It reminds me of one of those artistic Kohler sink ads.

He is the light of our lives and this photograph symbolizes how soft and gentle that light still feels to us. It is a light that comforts .
It is a light that washes us clean like children again.

inspired by Mama Says Om