It Still Snows in Virginia

Here's the evidence...

The Further Adventures of Baby & Chihuahua

i couldn't resist....

A Belated Valentine

I know , i know , it is four days past Valentine's Day but i am a hopeless romantic and since i have had a miserable sinus condition on THE day ( as well as my birthday which was and is , unfortunately always the day after - i didn't get to celebrate. Not really.
We also got clobbered with one hell of an ice storm this week and have been 'iced' in and unable to leave the house.
The one fun thing i did do was to bake a Red Velvet Cake with N. , my friend from home (she baked hers there and i baked my version here , both of which will be featured in Sunday Dinner this week ). Baking is always a good answer to the bad weather / under the weather blues . At least for me !

I dressed my little cherub all in red for the holiday gave him a classic Winnie the Pooh for his valentine . He already has Tigger. Now he needs Piglet , Eeyore , Kanga, Roo & Christopher Robin. I have started reading the Pooh series to him and he seems to really enjoy it , listening intently , giggling and helping to turn the pages.
I still love Winnie the Pooh and Beatrix Potter and Wind in the Willows. I must have some Brit in me because i love English humor, as well. I hope Mr. Buggles enjoys them as much as i did growing up.

Well , it is snowing again. Just a squall but enough to make it feel like the dead of winter, which i guess it is. I was halfway to Spring in my mind so it makes it hard to get excited about this blustery weather. I am making soup for dinner and going to bed early. The only thing to do in this weather is hibernate.

Bug is fast asleep ( not in his crib) with Winnie ,Tigger & Lula and i am not far behind.......

Crib Notes

Wee DeeDee now has a crib !


He has yet to sleep in it but he seems to like it alright when he is awake.
Of course , he is ALREADY standing up in it and trying to 'go over the wall' but that's beside the point. He has been showing signs of independent sleeping for awhile now ( of course this means he will rollover in the bed and sleep , by himself for about an hour and then he wakes up wailing) but he used to have to be physically attached to me in order to sleep so it is a big stride for ( both ) of us.
We are waiting for his new mattress to arrive before actually attempting to make him sleep in his new crib ( it is actually borrowed from friends )which sort of resembles a sleigh bed -cum- Gallic prison. It is a bit dark and heavy for my taste but it sort of matches the antique rocker we have in his room .
Anyway , the mattress.

The one that came with the crib is like a slab of concrete. I get the whole safety SIDS prevention thing but , c'mon ! This thing is - no lie- like sleeping on a cellar floor- no give and no comfort that's for sure. There is NO WAY Colin will EVER fall asleep on that box o' rocks.
He is , after all , used to swaying gently like the breeze in his ultra-cushy papasan swing OR drifting off to Neverland in our uber-comfortable Tempur-pedic bed with a warm parent on either side.
The kid knows from comfort.

So , i did my usual Googling until i found a SAFE version of a Tempur-pedic type bed for infants/toddlers . Target has a decent one but i found the Rolls Royce at BabyAge. It has two sides, one for babies and one for toddlers and so , fits the bill nicely. More importantly , it feels like something I could sleep on. The antithesis of 'slab'.

So , all we have to do is wait . In a few weeks we get to stay up all night trying to get him to sleep in his baby monkey cage. Until then , i will savor the time i have left to both sleep and cuddle my baby.

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Don't forget to check out what's cooking this week at Sunday Dinner...
http://sundaydinnerathysterialane.blogspot.com/2007/02/more-comfort-food-for-cold-weather-pot.html

Baby It's Cold Outside !

We have all been feeling a bit under the weather in this house. The weather itself has turned bitter cold and chased us inside again. We have all fallen prey to the sneezing and sniffling of winter legend and have decided to hibernate, sleeping in and taking LOTS of naps in between busy family life.Poor Cholula , our hapless chihuahua , thinks this weather is for the birds and has to be forced outside in the morning to do her ' business'. Our friends in NY bought her a Paris Hilton inspired parka for Christmas and it keeps her warm but she is SO embarrassed by it she can barely stand it ! It is so ridiculous that we can't help but laugh when she has it on and it only adds to her chagrin. Poor , Nooni !

Colin looks like Ralphie's brother from "A Christmas Story" when he is all bundled up and can barely move from having his chub wrapped in layers.
I still can't find my favorite winter coat ( in storage somewhere ) so i patch together this rather pathetic Annie Hall-ish outfit of long sweater with missing buttons , mismatched gloves, worn boots and whatever scarf falls out of the closet when i rummage for the sweater. What a motley crew we make ! Is it any wonder we prefer to stay in and cuddle when it is so cold outside ?

This weather is great for comfort cooking , too. See this week's SUNDAY DINNER post for a great , simple recipe for homemade Macaroni & Cheese.

So , we have been trying to catch up on sleep lately by sleeping in and taking lots of naps. This is a bit like trying to catch snowflakes in a jar , not really possible but the idea is nice. We try anyway.
Baby is winning so far...

Song - for Mama Says Om

a song begins in the heart
just three chords
yours, mine and the half-chord between us

this life
breath sweet as summer rain
washing the dust from our hearts
making music from pain

we sing
our heartbeats sound
the rhythm of this world

this cry
in harmony with our own
our little song

we sing

What's For Dinner ?

I love to cook and i love cooking for others, especially my family.
As a mother of a nine month old i cannot cook anything too time consuming or elaborate these days so i have been gathering easy , healthy but satisfying recipes from my archives and from some of my favorite food sites and magazines as well as from friends and my own cookbook collection.

There is nothing like sharing a good meal with good friends and family so i have decided to write a weekly tribute to this idea. It will be a sister Blog to Hysteria Lane , dedicated to food and cooking and all joys culinary. Please join me every Sunday at my other site entitled SUNDAY DINNER.

http://sundaydinnerathysterialane.blogspot.com/

I will include a link on Sundays to the newest post as a reminder .

Please drop by for a bite !

Acceptance- For Mama Says Om

I accept that i am loved.

I Have a Mind to be Joyful

Today i want to write about joy.

Too often in life we find much to complain about. The daily struggles, annoyances, trials, tribulations and problems that are all too easy to obsess and worry about endlessly - and eclipse the joy that would otherwise be found in the spaces that negativity has chosen to fill. I say 'chosen' because i believe we consciously (as well as unconsciously) make choices everyday about our own happiness. I know i do.

I am ashamed to admit that i am less than mindful many times throughout the day - instead my mind is full- a messy cobweb of emotions and neuroses , lists and voices pulling me this way in that - getting in the way of my daily experience of joy.
What is the answer , you ask ?

God, if i know but then again there are hints along the way - if only you keep your eyes and heart open to them.
Watching my baby son grow into himself day by day is a true eye-opener for me.

This weekend i handed Colin a clementine and i watched him palm it lovingly , pinching it carefully between his thumb and forefinger, slowly feeling its dimpled skin. He held it up to his cheek and then closer still to his eye as if he was searching for something inside its flesh. He put it to his tiny mouth and with great concentration , bit into it until it squirted juice all over his chin.
He just looked up and smiled the smile of the Ancients at us- like he discovered the Meaning of the Universe right then and there in that small citrus fruit.
And i think that he did.

He was so utterly joyful in that moment that it brought to mind an old Buddhist teaching i had read years ago on Mindfulness by Thich Naht Hanh. Since i also love to cook ( and eat !) this takes on even more meaning for me.

This is a bit long but i implore you Dear Readers , to take a moment to read and contemplate his oh-so-wise words. If we can all remember to do this even a few minutes of each day what a difference in our lives it would make.

Mindful Eating

by Thich Nhat Hanh
Unified Buddhist Church

Mindful eating is very pleasant. We sit beautifully. We are aware of the people that are sitting around us. We are aware of the food on our plates. This is a deep practice. Each morsel of food is an ambassador from the cosmos. When we pick up a piece of a vegetable, we look at it for half a second. We look mindfully to really recognize the piece of food, the piece of carrot or string bean. We should know that this is a piece of carrot or a string bean. We identify it with our mindfulness: "I know this is a piece of carrot. This is a piece of string bean." It only takes a fraction of a second.

When we are mindful, we recognize what we are picking up. When we put it into our mouth, we know what we are putting into our mouth. When we chew it, we know what we are chewing. It's very simple.

Some of us, while looking at a piece of carrot, can see the whole cosmos in it, can see the sunshine in it, can see the earth in it. It has come from the whole cosmos for our nourishment.

You may like to smile to it before you put it in your mouth. When you chew it, you are aware that you are chewing a piece of carrot. Don't put anything else into your mouth, like your projects, your worries, your fear, just put the carrot in.

And when you chew, chew only the carrot, not your projects or your ideas. You are capable of living in the present moment, in the here and the now. It is simple, but you need some training to just enjoy the piece of carrot. This is a miracle.

I often teach "orange meditation" to my students. We spend time sitting together, each enjoying an orange. Placing the orange on the palm of our hand, we look at it while breathing in and out, so that the orange becomes a reality. If we are not here, totally present, the orange isn't here either.

There are some people who eat an orange but don't really eat it. They eat their sorrow, fear, anger, past, and future. They are not really present, with body and mind united.

When you practice mindful breathing, you become truly present. If you are here, life is also here. The orange is the ambassador of life. When you look at the orange, you discover that it is nothing less than fruit growing, turning yellow, becoming orange, the acid becoming sugar. The orange tree took time to create this masterpiece.

When you are truly here, contemplating the orange, breathing and smiling, the orange becomes a miracle. It is enough to bring you a lot of happiness. You peel the orange, smell it, take a section, and put it in your mouth mindfully, fully aware of the juice on your tongue. This is eating an orange in mindfulness. It makes the miracle of life possible. It makes joy possible.

From my own experience i know being a mother with all of its responsibilities and obligations can distract you from yourself, your life and your joy.
Or it can bring you closer to all three.
Motherhood can be a meditation, too.

So I am trying my best to remember to be more mindful .
I will eat more oranges and remember to find joy in the everyday. And hopefully joy will find me at home more often than not.

Almost Famous

Okay , i admit it , i really don't have time to dither around with my new 'toy' but i did waste precious moments today capturing a rather imperfect , perfectly amateurish video of my adorable baby son playing tug o' war with Cholula , our equally cute chi chi pet. I gifted myself a Canon Powershot Elph (600 series- all metal construction 'cuz mommies drop stuff) for Christmas and it has a video feature. I just pointed and shot and this is what i got. Yeah , i know it is a little wonky and wobbly but that's becuse i was chuckling to myself all the while. I posted it to YouTube for laughs .
Here is it's premiere . Enjoy the show...

Resolutions/ Uberlist for MamaSaysOM

In my last post i asked what everyone's resolutions for the New Year were.
I got very little response- my guess is that we have given up on the whole thought of New Year resolutions due to our inability to meet our own expectations. I suppose that if we truly are ready and willing to do something useful , not to sound trite and quote a over-used sporting goods manufacturer, well , we just do it and stop agonizing over it and writing lists that never get fully crossed off.

That all said- I have decided to write a list. I was prompted by MAMASAYSOM ( see link to right) and thought about all of the things i have put off or resolved to do year after godforsaken year. I did manage to have a long-secretly-wished-for baby. And he is working on his own list of sorts. Today it is " grow teeth " His is decidedly easier to manage than mine.





Thus sprouts the list. Good Luck.
Hope Springs Eternal , as they say.

Here she is:

Sell my house.
Get our two houses meshed into one.
Organize.
Re-Organize.
De-Clutter.
Give away what is no longer needed nor wanted.
Throw out the useless, the ugly and the crap.
Put away ALL of the clean laundry ( instead of leaving it in baskets)
DO all of the laundry.
Have a tag/yard sale.
Make an Ebay site and sell, sell, sell !
Finish my office, powder room and kitchen.
Finish the baby's room.
Get him to sleep in it someday.
Plan my garden.
Take Nooni to the Vet.
Make an appointment with my OB/GYN .
Write all of my long distance friends old fashioned snail mail.
Call all of my long distance friends on ye olde telephone ( not a cell)
Plan Colin's first Birthday celebration.
Unpack all of my books and software, dvds and cds from storage.
Put books on shelves, load software into new computer, put dvds in rotation, download cds onto IPOD i have had for one year.
Download archives of photographs from three computers into IPHOTO.
Upload fave photos into sets in Flickr.
Take photographs everyday .
Organize and consoidate video footage.
Set up film/video studio.
Work on my novel.
Finish my novel.
Write.
Work on collage/assemblage ideas.
Create art.
Find a new yoga center.
Get private pilates instruction.
Get my bike reconditioned.
Go on Southbeach diet when finished nursing.
Get my hair cut.
Invest in a great braising pot and Dutch oven.
Make soup.
Make bread.
Bake a red velvet cake for Valentine's day.
Forget about dieting.
Get some new clothes one size bigger like it or not.
Take a walk everyday.
Go hiking.
Go birding.
Put up bird feeders.
Explore Washington DC .
Leave a smaller footprint ( in more ways than one! )
Work on convincing my husband that the baby needs a kitty , too.
Write to my Grandmother once a week.
Call my parents more often.
Put a calender up and mark people's Birthdays.
Make more of an effort to leave the house on rainy days.
Finish more books.
Actually read the magazines i subscribe to.
Take more time for myself.
Hire a babysitter more often.
Take more naps.
Remember to eat.
Remember eating.
Stay up past 9:00 pm.
Find time to meditate again.
Somehow.
Find more time for myself.
Burn this list.
......................................

A Brand New Day

Here it is , a new year and a full moon on the horizon. We are just settling back in after another road trip - this time to visit friends in New York and see the fantastic James Hunter in the city at the BB King club. Introduced to JH's music this summer by two friends of mine and given tickets to see him play by two friends of W's - all now dear and mutual friends of both. We are doubly blessed.

We had a great time with our NY connection and Buggles got to meet my friend from the city, too , finally. It was a a fun trip all around. Lots of friends and lots of food , wine and MERRY making.Our friend's teenage daughter celebrated her 1 year anniversary of sobriety during our trip and it was really good to share in that joy with them. A brand new year brings good tidings.

All that said - It is really , REALLY good to be home. We are exhausted -too much holiday traveling - we are planning on staying put for awhile.

Bugs sprouted his two front teeth on the trip and started babbling in a whole new , sophisticated way . Woo-hoo and Wow and Ooooh are now in his repertoire and he sings refrains of these whenever something strikes his fancy - which is often.
He is still struggling with the crawl mechanism- just a lot of " i feel good , danna nanna nah " rocking back and forth on his knees. He did try to pull himself up to standing today and almost made it but slid down the swing pole he was using for leverage. He is a man on the move.

I am finding myself harboring a secret wish to keep him semi-mobile as long as i can - i need time to adjust our pace. I really like being able to leave him on the floor with some toys for a few minutes alone while i try to get anything done. Once he starts crawling it will be a whole different ball game. I am savoring my days....

My New Year's resolution this year is to get my life organized again. Moving , getting married , having a baby , taking care of a new family all have taken a toll on my recent trend towards a more stream-lined life. A Zen aesthetic, as it were.
What has happened in reality is more of an Anti-Zen movement of the first order.
I am making a concerted effort this year to change that. Or at least find out where my favorite nursing bra disappeared to. That would be good.

What has everybody else resolved to do this year ? Please share.
We all need a support group in times of need. The forum is open!

Holiday Hangover

Well , an entire week has yet again past , Christmas is but a fading memory and the New Year approaches swift on it's heels. We are still reeling from all of the unpacking from our trip , holiday prep and much merriment - all in the span of what seemed like an extraordinarily short week.

This was Colin's First Christmas and he bit into it like a bright ,shiny red apple. It was pure joy on his face as he ripped through piles of tissue paper and beheld the myriad of lights, bells and shiny objects all around.
He cackled with glee and put everything into his tiny elf mouth.

We had a real old fashioned Christmas procession down the stairs in the morning , with all of the kids ( Nooni leading the way) and hung the stockings on an old ladder because , alas, we have no hearth. I made my traditional family recipe for French Meat Pie and an apple croustade for dessert which was met with a chorus of applause. I pureed some in the Cuisinart for Bug , too. His favorite was the homemade cranberry sauce.

We all went to my sister-in-laws the day after for the Schaeffer clan celebration and Colin contentedly played on the floor for five hours until he finally slumped over from happy exhaustion. We all went to bed with full hearts and bellies that night.

Colin received a lot of nice "1st Christmas" baby gifts but i am secretly elated that he loves my gift the best of all. I wanted to give him one simple gift so he would have something to open so we could record the moment for him. i ended up getting a chunky wooden Bug puzzle for him , thinking he was yet really too small to really appreciate it. Boy , was i ever wrong !
He immediately grabbed it and his ardor has yet to cool down- he lifts the entire puzzle , dumping all of the pieces to the floor, picks them up one by one , tries to fit them back in , bangs them together , puts them in his little birdy mouth and otherwise expresses his intense love for my gift in his exuberant high-pitched monkey screeching way.
Bullseye ! I got it right ! The Bug's first Christmas was an unqualified success.
But i got the very best gift of all, my own beautiful , darling baby boy- so long in coming- so completely and definitively a surprise- just what i always wanted and who knew? - just the thing i needed, too.

Thank you , Santa.
Thank you , Creator.

Thank you for filling my life with love.

Santa's Little Workshop of Horrors

YIKE! Christmas is only 4 days away !
Why did we go away one week before Christmas - are we nuts ?
We are also traveling to NY for New Years Eve at a friends . I haven't even unpacked yet ! Or sent Christmas cards out ! Or started my shopping!
That's all right for those of you who know me you know i am into the whole "Winter Solstice" vibe anyway - a whole season of celebration. So you will get your cards/gifts....eventually. ; )

Actually , my panic is a bit unecessary because last night we transformed our house into a veritable Santa's workshop and baked our brains out. My step daughter Zoe came over at 1:00 in the afternoon and we made gingerbread until it came out of our ears, literally.

Colin sat in his highchair and played while we rolled out dough , baked and decorated like pros. At one point he reached over and put both fists into a bowl of white icing and he ended up covered in a snowy white crust of sugar. I was still picking it out of his hair this morning ( and that was after a bath ). Clean-up was hell.
It looked like someone blew up the Keebler treehouse.

Zoe and her Dad went out and got the tree , strung the lights and beaded garland and brought in all the boxes of ornaments. The entire house is filled with tubs and boxes and bags again and i wonder if we will ever be without some maelstrom of disarray taking over our home.

It was like this before i moved in after W's renovation , then again with my relocation, the pregnancy and labor ( we at one point filled the hallway with a collapsible labor pool) and then baby's arrival with all of the necessary accoutrement - swings and buzz chairs and pack-n-plays. And laundry . Oh , don't get me started on the laundry.

Baskets and baskets of laundry seem to sprout up overnight. I have 4 baskets of CLEAN laundry waiting to be put away. Sigh. It is a futile task to feel 'finished' with housekeeping of any kind. No wonder Fifties housewife's had an overly enthusiastic attachment to martinis and 'mother's little helpers'. And we're not talking elves here !

I need a drink , dammit !
Nursing has it's downside. Tee-totaling is it .
But , the gingerbread is made, the tree is lit and there is always Amazon.com , thank JESUS. I guess we are supposed to scurry around like little mice around the holidays. It helps to burn off all of the cookie fat.

Happy Holidays everyone !!!

Paradise Lost & Found

Well , we have returned from St. Maarten , a little worse for the wear but we survived our first international travel with an infant. The weather was perfect , the trip to went surprisingly smoothly and we both are EXHAUSTED. Make that all three of us .
Buggles , to his credit , was THE perfect little traveler. You know that look you get from people as you are boarding the plane with a baby in tow and umpteen bags and blankies and toys, etc. Sort of a low grumble of dread falls over the plane and people start griping about 'earplugs' ? Well, anyone with kids knows that parents harbor the greatest amount of dread when it comes to babies and plane travel. My blood pressure must have been off the charts as i squeezed my way to our seats.
Blessings of all blessings - no one sat in our row on the second flight ( 4 hours) but little man was the bomb ! He was chirpy and happy while he was awake, playing with his toys and flirting with the nice lady who sat behind us and then after about an hour fell into oblivion and nursed and slept the entire last leg of the journey. He acclimated beautifully - not a peep of dissent as we wheeled him through airports, packed him into rental cars , introduced him to island culture and made our temporary home in the resort. He took it all in stride , a big beautific buddha smile on his face as he flitted to and fro.
He wasn't so wild about being slathered with a thick coat of sunscreen every morning but he just submitted to it like a monk , nonetheless.

Unfortunately our resort has become home to every octagenarian from middle America and now caters to those who require 'entertainment' ( read bad reggae covers by bands whose last gig was your cousin's bargain basement wedding) We escaped as much as we could to various beaches but had to camp there occasionally by the pool for the little Bug who is still wary of the Ocean ( as he should be) but LOVES the water.
We bought him a little yellow ring to float in and had a great time with him splashing and 'swimming' around. We , of course sipped Pina Coladas ( yes, mine was VIRGIN, sheesh) while cheering him on. Ahhh, the life of the leisure class...

Ha! I wish. Vacation with an infant is NO vacation, that's for sure. We got up at 7:00 every morning and followed HIS schedule - ending up in bed by seven at night ! No nightlife for his bedraggled , burnt-out parents- no way. We were too tired to go out on the town anyway!

The trip back was a little hairy as we got stuck on the tarmac in St. M and almost missed our connecting flight home. We literally pulled off a small miracle as we dashed through the North Carolina Intl. airport , through customs and to the gate where they told us the plane was already pulled away from the connecting ramp. Some blessed woman, called and cajoled the pilot to come back and re-connect so we could board. Talk about skin -of -your teeth luck ! Just ONE minute later and we would have missed our connection and be spending another night in a hotel ( without our luggage). As , it was our luggage arrived a day later than we did but who cares? We got home.

All in all the trip was an EXPERIENCE. We are now planning a trip for the two of us alone later next year, to recover. We did manage to get some incredible photos which i will share as soon as i download them to Flickr.

The great thing about capturing a vacation in photographs is that you look back years from now and only remember the good things about it- the proverbial rose-colored glasses syndrome.
And that is how we will remember this trip - because it was the first time we flew with Colin , the first time we took him to the Caribbean and the first time we went on vacation for someone other than ourselves. We built memories for our the new shoot of our family bamboo grove and when it all come down to it - what else really matters ?

It's good to be home.........

We are on Vacation !!!!


Mark December 20th on your Calendar to re-visit Hysteria Lane for a detailed account of our trip.

I hope we don't get thrown off the plane .....
; )

Project Runway

Today is the day that i can no longer put off packing for our trip to St. Maarten. It has become such a hassle to travel now , especially with a baby , that i have been dreading it to such a degree that i put it off to the last minute. Part of the reason has been that Buggy has been VERY active lately , too. He is making great developmental leaps in the last week or so and has been more than a handful.

I am a first time Mom so when we found ourselves fitting into a nice little groove lately , i actually thought it might last awhile.
Ha ! What nap schedule ? What predictable pattern ? That was short-lived ...

For one thing he is completely all over the place in terms of naps during the day - even if i nudge him towards his 'usual' time and he is rubbing his eyes with those dreamy heavy-lidded eyes of his - there is absolutely NO guarantee that he will sleep. Sometimes he will fall asleep and when i put him down ( swing , crib , it doesn't matter ) he will pop right awake and start talking or crying until i pick him up again. I actually tried leaving him to cry ( something i don't really believe in at this stage ) and he just stayed awake , even after he stopped crying.

So , i have been just letting him sleep when he actually falls asleep and stays asleep. I guess he will eventually pick up a new pattern . I think he wants to drop one afternoon nap but just can't decide which one he wants to let go of.

One morning recently, he decided to get up at 5:30 and present us with real human speech ! He has been toying around with vowel sounds forever now but no "Mama" or "Dada" yet . Instead he came up with his first two real words - "Hidey Que". Yes, Hidey Que. Nonsense , you say ?
Not at all .

We figured out that since he watches Project Runway every week with us when my stepdaughter Zoe comes over that he must be trying to say "Heidi Klum", which i can only owe to her once-again-pregnant and looking lovely Uber-Nursings -
Bug's favorite thing in the world !
Thanks alot , Heidi.
No MAMA, just the name of some supermodel being bandied about our house. As if having one male in the house under her thrall wasn't enough...

So, the only Project Runway on tap this week is making it to the airport on time, which translates into a 3:00 am wake-up call for us. We drop off Lula at her boyfriend's house tonight ( she is staying with friends and their Shihtzu while we are away ) make one last trip to the pharmacy , me trying to fit all of my airplane baby needs into 3.4 oz baggies and then a few short hours of sleep and we are off.
Wish us luck , i am feeling we are going to need it !

Just Ducky

I am happy to report that Bug is no worse for the wear today. His bruised plum cheek is fading quickly and he is his cheerful , curious little monkey self again. Phew.

Another near tragedy averted. And i have forgiven myself. Sort of. At least the worst pangs of mother guilt have died away. Sheesh. This job is hard !

We made other strides this weekend, as well. Colin succeeded in sleeping in the bassinet ( Da still has to build the crib ) for several hour intervals. Of course this included lots of waking , crying , nursing , patting and placing and replacing of wubba nubs. He came to bed with us in the end , but he did good for his first try. Mommy needs sleep , too.

So he is a serial sleeper, but that's ok -
he is entitled to a learning-to-self-soothe curve. And i love watching his little cherub moon face on the video monitor . Bug TV !

Colin also has made a big leap into the tub. He is no longer afraid of the bath . We got him one of those rotating circle seats by Safety First and he can sit in the tub unencumbered without me grabbing onto him while he slides around like a slippery eelikins.

He is surrounded by his plethora of colorful bath toys and happily splashes around like a little duck while i scrub his nubblies. His favorite things to do right now are watch the water flow through the sea sponge when i hold it above his head and get squirted by his rubber duckies. He cackles uncontrollably , sucking in air and making a oouuuuooot noise like a seal pup. Too much cuteness !

Today , we have a DTAP booster to look forward to ( not ) and packing for our upcoming trip to the Caribbean. A long delayed honeymoon has become our first International travel experience as a new family. We all have new passports , even Bug. His picture is so funny - his head is huge and lilts to one side - he looks a bit like a Most Wanted poster child , but very handsome, of course. I just hope he likes the airplane...

The Night of the One Armed Sock Monkey

I really should have known something bad was going to happen . The end of the week was going WAY too smoothly - i actually finished all of the laundry this week ( a feat comparable to running a 10K for me ) and we got a sitter for a Friday night and Colin stopped teething long enough to afford us a full night's sleep for two days in a row.
Then i noticed it.
The dismembered arm of Lula's sock monkey lying on the cold tile floor in the kitchen.
It was a bad omen.
I casually picked it up , the stuffing bleeding out of it's unsewn socket ,making a mental note to add it to the pile of "things that need to be sewn, mended , fixed, etc. and then went on about my business. Where the rest of the sock monkey was , i didn't know.
As i went on with my 'peaceful weekend' i started to clean the kitchen , unload the dishwasher , and make coffee , i mused to myself how i was really getting the hang of this mothering thing - my baby was healthy and happy and virtually trouble-free , all due in no small part to my innate and extraordinary ability to be attentive, loving and on the ball at all times when it concerned my wee one.
Ha , so you are feeling just the bit smug , are you ?
Well , that was all about to change.
I was about to get slapped upside my head...

Colin woke up a tad too early Yesterday , and as he still sleeps with us in our bed, this can be a pain when you NEED your sleep and don't want to get up at 5:00 am on a weekend morning. So , i got up, changed his diaper and put him the papasan cradle swing ,where he has happily slept when not in our bed since he was born. Yeah , i know , but we tried THE CRIB and it didn't work for us.
Getting up and down a flight of stairs several times during the night to nurse a baby that wakes up crying and then staying up another hour to get him back to sleep , is not my idea of fun. I have come to the belief that whatever works best for you and the baby is the RIGHT thing to do.
Well , it all worked just fine for us until yesterday.

Colin fell out of the swing onto the ceramic tile floor in the sun room.
He was strapped in , like aways , but apparently is now too big and too strong to be left unattended in his swing. The ironic thing is i just weighed him and when the scale registered 22.5 lbs i said to myself "wow". Of course , NOW i remember that 22 lbs is the cut-off weight for the swing. Damn hindsight and addled post-partum brain syndrome.
The good news is that i had a heavyweight blanket covering Colin and this and his wubba-nub frog ( a pacifier with a stuffed froggie attached) went over the side with him and broke the fall. He also fell on his arm onto his side, so only his little apple cheek hit the bar and made a little bruise.
THANK GOD , he is ok. I had nightmare visions of a cracked skull and , i can't even bear to think any further than that.
I know babies fall and accidents happen but this truly made me heartsick. We couldn't figure out how the buckle came apart - we tried it over and over and it didn't give- so it makes no sense. I KNOW i snapped both sides but there is a nagging doubt that maybe i did something wrong - i didn't secure him properly and this makes me feel inadequate to the nth degree .

It isn't the first time something like this happened.
I left him on the changing table once ( for literally a second while i reached for a stack of diapers in a cabinet below) when he was only 4 months old and he wiggled and flipped himself over the table edge like a Chinese acrobat, landing on his cheek on the hardwood floor and vent cover.
Miraculously, he survived that virtually unscathed too - my Pediatrician answering my panicked phone call while i sobbed and rushed him to the emergency room - only to be told to turn around and bring him home that he was fine and that babies are tougher than they seem.
It seems on two separate occasions i have missed his huge developmental leaps into the next stage of physical prowess and caused him to be in pain. And it really feels bad.There is a type of guilt that no one talks about surrounding these inevitable accidents with your own flesh and blood , the kind that makes you feel ashamed and at a loss to explain why it happened. I just sat with Colin for hours afterward , holding him and nursing him until he fell asleep . My husband , who bounded out of bed like a pole vaulter when we heard the baby cry out , was as relieved as i was but remained speechless for several hours . I think both of us , all of us, were in a state of shock.

I am transitioning Colin to the crib this week. No more swing. He will stay in the bed with us a bit longer until nursing slows down but he can handle some naps in the crib.
The question is , can I ?

Today's Food For Thought...

Dazed and Confused

http://www.salon.com/opinion/feature/2006/11/29/maliki/index.html